Why do you want to start a company?

Mauka Singh: I smell big opportunity in this idea of mine which I can execute very well. Man, I am going to change this world and make lot of money.

Rocky the rockstar: Yaar I cannot handle this shit anymore. I want to create something better.

Jignesh Shah: Dhando samajh mein aata hai mereko. Aur mereko wahi karna hai.

Pratap Bhanawat Singh: Papa ka sapna tha to expand this empire. My new company is going to do just that.

Pappu Panwala: I will sell pan and cigarettes and earn my livelihood sirji. No other option. Besides, it is not a bad option.

Jonny Picturewala: You know, I love making movies and you know I can make better movies than what these dumb guys are making today.

Peter MBA: Starting with 20Lacs and 20% increment per annum will make me a millionaire in so and so years. I will start this company and get $5 million VC funding and start paying myself obscene kind of money next year.

David Engineer: My job sucks. All jobs suck. WTF, I want to be my own boss.

Raghu Romeo: Kuch karna hai yaar life mein..

Udar Sharma: I would create an enterprise providing end to end solutions in education and this will in turn help create thousands of jobs for my country. I am going to grow manifold and pay tax to the government and keep helping my country.

Ram Prasad: So much poverty around yaar and nobody is targeting these poor chaps.I will show the world that I can serve the bottom of pyramid and still grow and make profits.

Jockey Singh: I want a more challenging role and I think I have more potential than what I am doing. I think doing a company will let me unleash my potential and create value around me.

Dhanraj: Major paise banane ka aur kya legal tarika hai?

Saharika: Why should I tell you?

Miharika: Saharika started. Thats why.

What is your reason? Do you need one?

Disclaimer: All names are fictional and so are all the stories.

Uses of an Elevator

It was a boring meeting – kind of a broadcasting where a lecturer speaks to a group of people without caring the reception of the content among listeners. So I decided I would rather do something better then sleeping. Getting an idea from Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, I decided to list down the uses of an elevator. Heres the list:

1. Transportation – No brainer. An elevator is used to move either up or down.

2. Killing someone – As in like in movies. Let a 10-ton elevator fall on someone and he will not wake up ever.

3. Using Fan – So ACs are not working? No big deal. Get into an elevator and switch on the fan!

4. Privacy – No comments!

5. Experience free fall – Elevator malfunctions and u fall freely. Havent experienced it so do not know what happens in the end.

6. Playing – Only for kids

7. Scribbling – For naughty types of people who think that they are great artists.

8. Racing with it – Lets see who reaches first on the eight floor first – me on the stairs or you with the elevator.

9. Movie making – A murder mystery revolving around it.

10. Using power – If you want to waster some power. Just keep running it up and down.

12. Catching a thief – You catch a thief in your surveillance camera, switch off the power and call police.

13. Practical for mechanic and electrical engg – self explanatory

15. Learning numbers – Board the lift with your kid and keep rocking between 25th floor and ground floor staring at the LCD screen. Call out the numbers loud for better effect.

16. Know the temperature – Some elevators have temperature sensor

17. Scenery view – in the types with transparent glasses

18. Advertisement – OOH is catching up and one can earn a lot putting posters/TV in elevators

19. Notice board – It has been brought to notice that you have been (mis)using the elevator quite often. Any miscreant will be treated strictly and punished with a life sentence. And mind you, this lift can carry just 8 people. The ninth people will go to hell and take other eight along with him.

Watching too much TV?

After spending just little time in front of the TV, I realize that it has been almost 2 hours I have been watching it! Where did the time go?

Killing time with TV has never been too difficult. One of the primary reasons is burgeoning channels going to around 250-300 number and still counting. So if I start from channel 0, and spend approximately 5 minutes in each of the 10 channel of interest to me (say Discovery, NatGeo, History, T&L,CNN, CNBCTV18, UTVi, CNBC AWAZ, one of the movie channels etc), one hour is just gone in browsing!!! And then there is high probability that I will find something interesting to watch for an hour. May be news or a program. If its a movie, it can span up to 3 hours and sometimes more with commercials.

So now it answers my question about spending two hours without knowing where they passed.

Most of the news shown on the TV is just noise. Its difficult to remember what I watched last evening or what was the sensex level yesterday. All it does is that it adds vividness to the most recent event and bias our mind towards it. So if I stop watching news (read noise) and instead read history (actual signal), I can easily reduce half an hour from two hours of my TV time.

Watching movies for me is utter waste of time since I have seen “most” of the good movies being shown. So Its just revision of some good moments in a movie. The worst part is that I can watch a movie (read – revise it) again and again even if I have seen it 10 times before. So refraining myself from watching bits n pieces of movies save another half an hour a day.

Switching channels is another activity which consumes enough time. If a program is worth watching, I can switch on the TV just for watching that program and avoid switching or browsing too many channels. This leaves me just half an hour of TV which is fine in my opinion, as TV is also a good learning medium if used judiciously.

So Lets see if I can control myself from tomorrow..

Ten (eight) ways to de-motivate an employee

(ps: these are based on my experience of working in a team)

1. Not valuing what he or she does: There are hundreds of tasks involved in any team. Definitely some of these are of higher priority than the others. Similarly, there are some tasks with have more “interesting” aspects to it than others. People who are assigned lower value tasks gets de-motivated faster especially when some bright guys deserve some better work. And to add to that, management forget about giving attention to these people and tracking their work (because of higher priorities). Why hire people when you don’t need them?

2. Uneven work distribution: Dividing work equally among people is a difficult task. If this difference is substantial, over-worked people gets tired and under-worked people get bored. Both the condition leading to frustration and hence demotivation.

3. Incompetent compensation/rewards: I don’t think this point needs any more explanation. If one is getting lesser than what one is worth, he or she will be always on lookout for greener pastures. Jab yahi job, yahi responsibilities jyada paiso/stock options mein mile..to koi ye kyoon le, wo na le? There are exceptional cases where an employee is very so loyal to a company that he/she will miss this kind of opportunity [I am yet to find such cases].

4. Favoritism: If rewards are no longer linked to your performance, nobody is going to make even an effort. Incentive-caused-bias as its worst (more on that later sometime).

5. Not communicating effectively: Let us sat a company is working on some strategic and crucial project. If employees do not understand the significance of this project and they are working just mechanically, they will loose interest if the work is not “interesting”. On the other hand, they can work more productively without getting bored if they understand the big picture.

6. Micro-management: Needless to say, if management puts is foot in smallest of the task that employee does, there is no room for someone to make decisions. This wastes lot of time of management and hampers the responsibility taking ability of people.

7. Not understanding what he or she does: This point is somewhat related to the first point and specifically applicable to technical teams. No matter how breakthrough product/process you discover, if your boss does not understand it to appreciate it, there is no reason to do it. No incentive-no breakthroughs.

8. Not valuing an employee or his opinion: This is a big blow to anyone’s ego. This is sure-shot way of loosing an employee and a bad way of firing.